As the school year launches (and after 43 years in Christian education), I have one
glaring piece of advice for every family. DO NOT CARPOOL!
Now, I fully understand that we all live very busy lives. Moms and dads work and have
very busy schedules. Kids need to be carted off to lessons and practices and
appointments. So, sharing those uber responsibilities would be very helpful. But don’t
do it!
And here is why. Your children spend at least six plus hours a day away from you. They
encounter all kids of adults, they play with a variety of friends, they learn a myriad of
facts and make hundreds of decisions along the way.
And when they pile into your car at the end of the day, you want to be there for the
debrief. Sure, some kids don’t download easily. It might take a quiet moment or two.
Occasionally it takes an ice cream cone or a Starbucks drink for the older ones. But
sooner or later, the reflections start to unfold.
“Susie did this. Freddy did that. The teacher loved my paper. I blew the spelling test.
Mary got caught cheating. I lost my lunch money and had to share with my friends. Did
you know that Pluto isn’t really a planet? Can we pray for Sam’s grandma? Why don’t
we go to church on Wednesdays? I got in trouble for shoving Billy.”
And so it goes. From some kids the download is a torrent. From others it takes a while
to eke out the info. But as you listen and sometimes respond, you get to engage in their
life, one day or one activity or one person at a time.
You get the opportunity to live life right beside them, guiding and encouraging every
step along the way. You have the chance to overlay scriptural principles on their steps
toward maturity.
So don’t give up that precious part of life. As they pile into your car every day, don’t ask
“So, how was your day?” They will always answer, “Fine.” Instead, be ready to ask
leading questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” “Who did you sit next to at
lunch? Why did you choose him or her?” “Did you help anyone today?” “Who were you
proud of today?” “What one thing would have made the day better?” “Who can we pray
for tonight?”
Now I know you are giving up precious time to sit in the traffic pattern at school. I know
you could be doing other things that seem more important now, but please don’t scurry
past these priceless moments with your kids. Phone calls, emails and the laundry will
wait. Your kid’s development won’t.

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them
on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the
road…” AND WHEN YOU DRIVE HOME FROM SCHOOL! (Deut. 6:4-9)